Lost?

I like a challenge. I like to push myself. I like how I feel when I'm working towards a goal.

I have been stumbling for the past year. I wandered around, trying to find something that gave me the same target. I couldn't find it. Just the other day, a friend told me "You've seem kind of lost". It describes how I felt perfectly.

I've been kind of keeping my training up, but not really. I would run every so often, and bike every so often and swim every so often, but not focused. I signed up with my coach in May, and I still kind of wander, even though I have very clear deliverables to her.

I'm great at self talk
"You don't HAVE to run"
"You don't HAVE to bike"
"You don't HAVE to swim"
"Sure, you can eat or drink WHATEVER you want, because you don't HAVE to do a workout tomorrow"

So, a bit about where I am as the sometime athlete....

1. 12 pounds of more Karen to love right now (see self talk above for why)
2. I'm off the bike right now-stoopid hip. Working with PT and massage to get it figured out, and I have a bike fit coming up, which should help. Hope to back on in August.
3. I just completed a 7 mile run. Feeling okay, but definitely not 'trained' to run in the small warm spell we are having and a wee bit out of shape. Running on flat surfaces I'm okay, but put a hill (going up) in front of me and it hurts. 
4. Swimming...ah, my blessed base sport! How do I love thee? Last year, Col (the coach) started me off really easy, kept my between 1200-1800 yards for a long time. This time-BOOM 2100 yards! Feels great though. The arms don't have quite the muscle endurance to feel super the whole time, but I just love how it feels. It's open water season here in Seattle, so every other day I'm swimming in the lake. LOVE IT!

Right now, alternating days of running and swimming. Now that it's past July 4, our summer really starts. It's absolutely beautiful, and I feel great!

I make the decision to commit to Penticton again, and suddenly my focus kicks in. I have a target. I have a goal. I am not lost.