Decision made

I am a sometime athlete. I have moments of athleticism that people mistake for being a real athlete.

I've been this way all my life.
Swimming growing up. Never good enough to make the 'a' squad, but not bad enough to be dismissed.
Skiing in college. Never good enough to really be a true betty, but good enough to hit the diamonds
Cycling in mid-life. Never good enough to really be competitive, but cocky enough and loud enough for people to think I know what I'm doing.

People have always looked at these activities and said "athlete". What they don't know is that I'm inherently lazy. I'm not one of those people that gets shear enjoyment, and craves the next workout. I've had moments of that, but it's not continual. Laziness coupled with life-long mild depression and I can really become quite sloth like. I guess I'm lucky that my body hasn't completely revolted against me through the ups and downs of my laziness.

I've always admired hard-core athletes. The image of them struggling to the finish line. The dedication, devotion and pure finesse with which they seem to live their lives. I want that. I'm just too damn lazy.

Or am I?

Of all athletic pursuits, tri-athletes have always held this magical appeal for me. The pure endurance it takes to complete not just one sport, but three, in a row, sometimes of staggering distances. Wow. I remember seeing footage of a Julie Moss crawling across the line at Ironman Hawaii and thinking "damn!". If you haven't seen it, you should. It's heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. So freaking close....yet so far. And yet...she finishes!

I've never been one to live my life trying to complete 'bucket list' items. I've always said "Oh, that looks like fun, let's go do it". But as my body is definitely starting to feel the snap, crackle and pop of old age, I've started realizing that somethings just might not be as easy as "let's go do it!". On a recent bike ride, I started thinking about an Ironman. When I thought of myself as an older woman, no longer able to do most athletic pursuits, and thought about not at least trying to complete an Ironman Triathlon, I realized that I would have regret. Oh shit. I just ran straight into a bucket list item.

And so, in my 42nd year, I have decided to complete an Ironman. Notice, I didn't say compete. I said complete. I may use those words interchangeably, and as I get stronger, who knows, but I'm realistic that this is about completion. I turn 43 in just over 1 week (August 7) and just after I turn 44 next year, I will complete an Ironman. I will spend the next year being that hard core athlete I've always admired. Or give it my best damn shot and at least be able to say I tried.

I'm writing this so that if you care to follow me and my wondering brain as I go through this, you can.

I promise you these things:
1. I will not speak of politics
2. I will most likely swear
3. My grammar and spelling will not be perfect. If this bothers you, then don't read. I will not correct.
4. I will be honest
5. I will laugh at myself and hopefully you will join me in the laughter, because I really am quite a ridiculous human being

By writing this, I hope for these things:
1. I have a way to share this silly story
2. I inspire you to do something in which everyone calls you crazy